Living Iin Sync with the Cycles

ESSENCE OF THE SEASON: AUTUMN

(c) By Donna Henes, Urban Shaman*

From ALWAYS IN SEASON:

LIVING IN SYNC WITH THE CYCLES

Autumn ushers in the dark season. The time of diminished
light is upon us. The sun begins to rise later, set earlier.
Minute by minute, the luxuriously long and sweet lazy days
of summer get shorter and ever shorter, leaving us saddened
by what feels like its premature disappearance.

All of a sudden, it seems, evening creeps in before we are ready for it. Now, as the incomparable Yogi Bera put it, "œIts getting late early." And it will be even more dramatic when Daylight Savings Time kicks in. From now until the Vernal Equinox, six months hence, the nights are longer than the days. And what little daylight there is, is definitivelydimmer. The quality and intensity of the sun's golden shine is weakened; peaked and pale.

The days may disappoint, ah, but the nights! Autumn, especially October, presents us with the year's clearest nighttime skies, offering us the best views of the wondrous treasury of the cosmic jewels. The opalescent moon, displayed on a Prussian blue background of deep piled velvet, appears to be closer, larger, richer than we are used to seeing it. The Full Harvest Moon, especially is gigantic and orange as a pumpkin.

The twinkling stars shine, yes, like a billion diamonds in the sky, more numerous, numinous, than normal. And laid out across the heaven's horizon, the galaxy's plane, like a vast silver necklace inset with millions of glittering gems, we are graced with the appearance of the Milky Way, our home in the universe.

Could we be better blessed?

Beautiful blessings of the season to all,

xxMama Donna

To read my in-depth articles about the cross-culture myths and rituals of the Autumn Equinox and other holy days and holidays, read my book, Celestially Auspicious Occasions and/or subscribe to my quarterly journal:
Always in Season: Living in Sync with the Cycles. http://www.DonnaHenes.net

* (c) Permission is granted to copy, reproduce, reprint or promulgate in any manner this copyrighted material so long
as correct attribution and contact information is included.

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Unofficial Commissioner of Public Spirit of NYC. The New Yorker Part performance artist, part witch, part social director for planet earth. The Village Voice Globally significant theater-in-the-round. Brooklyn Bridge Magazine The woman is balanced. Paper Magazine Solstice Sister. TimeOut New York The Original crystal-packing mama. NY Press - DONNA HENES, Urban Shaman, has been a contemporary ceremonialist for 30 years. Mama Donna, as she is affectionately known, is the author of The Queen of My Self, The Moon Watcher's Companion, Celestially Auspicious Occasions: Seasons, Cycles, and Celebrations, Dressing Our Wounds In Warm Clothes and Moon Watcher's Companion, as well as the CD, Reverence To Her: Mythology, the Matriarchy, & Me. She also publishes the highly acclaimed quarterly journal, Always In Season: Living in Sync with the Cycles. In addition to teaching and lecturing worldwide, she maintains a ceremonial center, spirit shop, ritual practice and consultancy in Exotic Brooklyn, New York, Mama Donna's Tea Garden And Healing Haven, where she works with individuals and groups to create personally relevant rituals for all of life's transitions.

For information about upcoming events and services and a complimentary copy of Always in Season contact:

Mama Donna's Tea Garden - Healing Haven
PO Box 380403
Exotic Brooklyn, New York, NY 11238-0403
Phone: 718/857-1343
Email: MamaDonna@DonnaHenes.net
Web: www.DonnaHenes.net
www.TheQueenofMySelf.com

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Sandra Lee Schubert © All Rights Reserved, 2006

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Helping Loved One’s In A Crisis …Without Sacrificing Yourself!

This article appears in the July 2006 issue of Wild Woman Network newsletter courtesy of Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway.

Helping Loved One’s In A Crisis …Without Sacrificing Yourself!
By Steven E. Hodes

When my elderly parents fell ill, I found myself in a very human predicament: I was thrust into the role of parent and advocate while simultaneously dealing with the almost paralyzing fear of their imminent deaths.

Although I write and teach about metaphysics and healing on a theoretical and philosophical level, these personal challenges have offered me powerful insights I feel called to share with others. They are truly universal experiences and apply not only to parents but equally to any loved one.

In our lifetimes, many of us will have the experience of caring for a loved one too ill to care for themselves. For some of us, it may be the inexorable and heartbreaking decline of a loved-one, which though painful may allow time for a gradual acceptance of their fate. Others will be confronted with a sudden, unexpected illness or death of a close friend or relative. There can be some preparation and planning in dealing with the former, almost none for the latter. Each, however, can be equally devastating.

I my case, I had to deal with both situations simultaneously.

My mother had been afflicted for several years with an insidious form of dementia characterized by diminishing short term memory. Under this scenario my 87 year old Father, with his own chronic but stable heart condition, attempted to be her primary caretaker. He was exasperated at times but he forged on despite our pleadings with him to hire someone to ‘live in’ . Needless to say, a 'crash' occurred. From a 'head cold' my Father developed an overwhelming pneumonia which in only a few hours nearly killed him. He was clearly so depleted of 'energy' that his immune system was useless. An otherwise innocuous viral or bacterial infection was capable of overwhelming his defenses. And as a physician I am aware that despite modern drugs and technology even young patients can die from pneumonia.

As an adult child who happens to be a physician I immediately felt the enormous stress of leaping into the chaos and trying to assist both parents simultaneously. Anyone in similar circumstances will attest to the incredible strain on their entire being.

This immediately raised powerfully complex and paradoxical metaphysical issues in my mind: How can you ‘be there’ completely for those you love who are facing critical situations, while maintaining your own state of health? How do you deal the feelings of guilt that may ensue if you admit concern for your own well being in the face of the crisis of a cherished loved-one? My father’s deep empathy for his wife, my mother, resulted in his own catastrophe. How could I avoid the kind of self sacrifice that would render me useless to anyone? Is such a balance even possible? When you go through a crisis like this, it can seem odd, surreal and unreal. Even dealing with physicians and “hospital speak” may seem strange and bizarre. It may help you to realize that this is a universal human phenomenon. You are not alone in the experience or in facing these challenges.

Here are some insights to help you survive and, yes, spiritually grow.

Place one foot in front of the other. During times of actual crisis don’t project or worry about the future. Deal with the immediate only. Pick out the closest goal or target. Don’t begin to worry about what WILL or MIGHT occur down the road. Don’t dwell on how traumatic these events are for everyone in the family. This will only increase your anxiety and distress. Pick the next step and concentrate fully on that. Your worry about the future is a waste of your energy during times of crisis. Furthermore, you predictions may be entirely erroneous.

Acknowledge the nature of your emotional distress-- fear. This is the most basic of emotions. The shocking awareness, in childhood, that we are separate beings whose parents cannot protect us is a feeling that never truly dissipates. The fear of being alone rushes back precipitously when we are reminded of our loved one’s mortality.

Assume the role of the parent/caregiver. You are now the advocate. Make sure your loved one is getting the best medical care possible. Your job is not to ‘play doctor’ but to find the most competent and caring physicians you can. Work with medical professionals you can trust to guide you and your loved one through these difficult times.

See the crisis as an opportunity for healing relationships. Many individuals have had fractured and painful relationships with their parents or loved-ones. Seeing your loved-ones as vulnerable and wounded may offer new opportunities for healing. Rather than repeating this cycle of generational pain/anger, this can be a transformative time for all concerned.

Face your deepest fears and pain . Most psychologists and spiritual leaders recognize the need to experience, rather than supress, these feelings. The universality of death and transient nature of life are realities for us all. Knowing this from a spiritual perspective can help you dialogue and deal with the intense feelings of the heart. This is not easy—but it is necessary and ultimately healing.

Honor what is going on with your loved one on a spiritual and metaphysical level. In addition to the physical emergency, see the higher truth. Understand that the physical brain/body is constantly changing and ultimately deteriorating. Understand that karmic forces will ultimately determine the outcome of this life as well as its ending.

Share your fears with others. Don’t try to deny your own pain and frustration. Ventilate your own distress and tell the truth about what you are going through. Don’t be afraid to frighten off others. Those who care will be there for you.

Experience the power of prayer and love -- Let the love and prayers of others uplift you. Soak in the love.

Recognize the core truths of life. When a loved one is in a crisis, we change our priorities and notions of what is important in life. The pursuit of material wealth, professional recognition, ego gratification are easily shed. Unfortunately, after a while, time and again we forget these healing lessons and return to our prior state of consciousness.

Choose wisely. When it comes to decisions regarding end of life or continued treatment be sure to make the judgment based on the best interest of your loved-one. Too often there are unnecessary tests, procedures and surgeries performed on individuals who are in the process of actively dying and who have no realistic hope for recovery. Rather than allow their relatives to die peacefully they may insist that ‘everything be done’. This causes unnecessary pain and suffering. Often the motivation is guilt or the inability to ‘let go’. In such situations, this can be a selfish, rather than a loving act.

The most important advice is to maintain your own health. This is a warning to be heeded. My own Father’s illness was a direct consequence of not taking care of his own physical/emotional/spiritual needs. Although we may be focused completely on our loved-ones suffering, we need to be strong in order to be there. Withdraw yourself mentally from their crisis for short periods and do not feel guilty. Maintain your nutrition, exercise and rest. Whether meditation, exercise or prayer are your personal modes of finding strength, don’t abandon them now. Remember the universal statements regarding the use of oxygen masks on airplanes: “When flying with children, always place YOUR mask on first.” You have to be strong and conscious in order to help others.

On your journey, remember also that Love Heals. Your presence in your loved one’s life is a healing presence … let others replenish you with their love and compassion along the way.


© Steven E. Hodes, MD., 2006

Steven E. Hodes, M.D. is a board certified gastroenterologist with over 25 years private practice based in Edison and Old Bridge New Jersey. He also has a degree in Religious Studies and teaches Contemporary Metaphysics at Brookdale College as well as lecturing and writing on Kabbalah and Healing, the Jewish View of Afterlife and on Near-Death Experience. Visit him at his daily Blog, Physician to Meta-Physician at www.meta-md.com.

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Sandra Lee Schubert © All Rights Reserved, 2006

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Take A Vacation to the Land of Summer Love

This article appears in the July 2006 issue of Wild Woman Network newsletter courtesy of Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway.


Take A Vacation to the Land of Summer Love
By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

A warm, insidious ached blossomed slowly inside her.
She heard herself moan with soft pleasure and delight,
as Blake’s Hand gently stroked her flesh.
Beneath his palms she felt herself fill with desire.

- From Runaway Love


I remember when I first read that passage from a romance novel, I wondered: Who is this Blake character and is he available for a summer share (of my body) for July and August? The year was 1986, and I had penciled in only one appointment for two hot and breezy months… Summer Love.

Some 20 years later, I’m an old married lady with a kid, a house and a dog. My beloved is Vic, not Blake. And to be honest, in recent times, I have not been as concerned with the old insidious ache as I have, say, adding Feng Shui touches to my living room.

As summer is upon us, I am ready to feng shui the love corner of my bedroom … and to share some of my relationship wisdom with my sisters who are searching for love.

After years of teaching workshops, coaching women and talking to friends, I realize what our what is missing from the lives of soulful, adult women. We take love so seriously… we work so hard to get it right… we are so focused on “is he the one” that we ain’t having any fun!

What would happen if we could get into that old summer love consciousness and toss our cares, old broken hearts and most of our relationship expectations to the wind? We’d be liberated … and free to love without attachment or expectation. We’d be Summer Love Goddesses.

The idea is Summer Love, in its truest essence, is a very Buddhist thing – no attachments, and full acceptance that it will end, sometime. Along the way we make it point to have as much fun, excitement, new experiences, passion and joy we can. We don’t worry about the consequences and we have no expectations of the outcome. Traditionally, with Summer Love we are not imagining who we’ll invite to the wedding by the third date – unlike, admit it, the non-summer soul mate season when a third date inspires thoughts of “this could be it!”

For all you Summer Love Goddesses at heart, I suggest a break from seriousness, and a fling with lighthearted love. When you take the charge of finding the perfect love, and are willing to indulge in a little carefree romance, you will be surprised how much easier it may be to see love and relationships in a new light that supports your long term goals.

Just consider it Advanced Summer Love, and consider yourself duly entitled to as much passion, romance and fun as you can muster. “The whole point is to be caught up in the romance and the heat of the moment, and to be spontaneous,” recalls my friend Charlotte, for whom Summer Love was a prerequisite to college. “There are a lot of spur of the moment adventures. You don’t mind if he shows up unexpectedly at midnight – you love it. At any time, if a guy shows up without calling, you break up with him for being invasive! In fact, you don’t mind anything he does. Time is short and nit-picking and trying to transform him into the perfect man is just not an issue.”

Imagine what could happen to our love lives if we approached them from this Summer Love perspective: We’d be in a state of surrender, which would make it a little easier for True Love to find us. In winter, our potential soul mates have to battle the winter bulge of the armor covering our hearts, and slay the dragon of our mindsets that says perfect love must look, behave and feel a certain way. In the state of Summer Love, we are lighter and airier!

Here are some guidelines for Advanced Summer Love:

1. Pencil in ROMANCE in big red letters across your calendar for July and August. This will be your first symbolic gesture to the universe that “yes, I am getting that loving feeling and I am opening to my Summer Love.”

2. Get into “summer love consciousness” and include it as part of your spiritual practice. Meditate, pray, visualize, and daydream about hot and passionate summer days with an oh-so-special Summer Love who treats you like a Goddess.

3. Be spontaneous and gain some mastery over your issues about control and surrender. Learn to go with the flow.

4. Use this list of the qualities of your ideal summer love and read it every day for the next thirty days; add in your own. By the time July rolls around, true summer love will be getting closer!


Be sure to include on your list these essential summer love qualities. (I’ve used the pronoun “He,” but feel free to adapt to your needs). Your Summer Love:

• Glances at you in a way that makes you feel you are the only two human beings on the planet.
• Communicates passion and appreciation with stunning force.
• Can dissolve all your concerns and worries, as well as inspire the ole’ “insidious ache” with just one kiss.
• Is a breath-taking hunk of handsomeness and sexiness in your eyes, with a body and manner that makes you want to surrender to love.
• Has a master’s degree in sexual healing, Tantra and the art of love.
• Is so passionate, romantic and alluring that even if your favorite movie star called for a date, you wouldn’t leave your Summer Love?
• For an entire summer he is yours – body, mind and spirit – and your are his, and you revel in your own vulnerability and willingness.
• You have frequent out of body experiences in his presence.
• You really like him a lot
• He will say, more than once, “You are the most beautiful (sexy, gorgeous, etc.) woman I have ever seen,” “I love your spirit (soul, who you are, etc.),” “Let’s do it somewhere different tonight!”


Remember, it may seem like a summer fling, but Summer Love Consciousness is actually an educational experience. True, you many learn new things about the human anatomy – on beaches and in beautiful natural areas – but you will also learn how to lighten up about love and expectations. Summer Love Consciousness is a state of mind you can enter any time… your soul mate will ultimately be ever so happy to meet you there, in the land of carefree abandon, where love can speak for itself and have a chance to grow. And where you can be the Summer Love Goddess you are meant to be.

Now, all you married Goddesses, its time to wake up your “Love Gua” and begin to see your hubby again as your best summer love, ever!

© Copyright 2006 Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway All Rights Reserved.

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway is a non-denominational wedding officiant and relationship coach known for her warm, loving and creative approach to blessing couples in love and helping people find true love. She’s author of Wedding Goddess (www.WeddingGoddess.com) and Find Your Spiritual Soul Mate (www.selfhealingexpressions.com).
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Sandra Lee Schubert © All Rights Reserved, 2006

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